My memories of the films I've seen, the places I've visited, the discoveries I've made and the encounters that have resulted in lasting friendships came flooding back with the first viewing of this magnificent documentary. During all this time programming cinema, I've rarely felt so close to what I've seen and experienced, an emotional film where the photographs gain movement with the voice of their author and collide in a rare cinematic and sensory experience.
'I'm not everything I want to be', is a great existentialist title, it made me fascinated with independent cinema again, suddenly seeing this film, I’ve discovered a photographer Libuše Jarcovjáková, who I didn't know and a young director Klára Tasovská. Both made me travel back in time. I started thinking about Nan Goldin and Chris Marker and then travelled through their photographs to my first forays into Europe before the fall of the Berlin Wall, a long and memorable page in the history of Europe during the Cold War. Images which I’ve glimpsed from where I stood, far away from everything in the village where I grew up, and at the same time in a country that was also European, or wanted to be. From the Prague Spring to Berlin and Tokyo, we travel in an intimate and revealing story of a time spent over five decades in a journey that is as unique as it is universal and courageous in a woman's fight for her independence in the days and history of a Europe that was changing every day and night towards the future. From the underground to the world of fashion and hard everyday life, full of questions about the passage of time.
The magic continues in the cinema, a unique place to encounter stories like these that enrich us, which we take with us when we go out into the street and encounter another reality, our own.
And now, where are we? (Dario Oliveira)

After the Soviet invasion in Prague, times of enormous suffocation were lived by a young female who was certain that she didn’t want to be a mother, who was attracted to the queer scene and who wanted to be… a photographer. This photographer felt the visceral urge to free herself and escape from the country where she was born. Her name is Libuše Jarcovjáková and her camera is her constant companion, capturing the days and mostly the nights in thousands of analogue photographs: Captures the queer scene in Prague, the marginalized T-Club, flees to West Berlin and years later witnesses the fall of the Iron Curtain, flies to Tokyo where she ventures into fashion photography, returns to Europe, returns home, risks to leave again. And she seeks to discover who she is, narrating dilemmas that prove to be timeless. With only photographs and diary entries she reads out herself, in I'm Not Everything I Want to Be Libuše Jarcovjáková and director Klára Tasovská construct an intimate and courageous portrait of her incessant search for her identity, of the knowledge of one’s own body, of the discovery of sexuality, of the invaluable emancipation, of the simple day-to-day life, and of the complex webs of emotions.